8,000 Pounds of Bull


This used to be a feed trough in the bullpen.

Me:  “Ok, who’s responsible?”


The Bulls:  “For what?”

Me: “The feed trough! It cost us $100. You guys aren’t checking out of Harland & Suzanne’s Winter Bovine Resort without paying, so fess up.”

The Bulls:  “We didn’t do it.”

Me: “Oh, and I suppose it just crumpled in on itself.”

The Bulls:  “Yeah. We had extra gravity the other night. It was scary. Thing just caved in.”

Me:  “Oh what a load of bull.”

The Bulls:  “Watch it lady, we don’t cotton to that kinda talk around here.”


Me:  “Look guys, just tell me which one of you did it, I’ll add it to your bill, and we can all get on with our day. Rocco? Gunner? Titus?”

The Bulls:  “We didn’t do it.”

Me:  “You all are the only ones in there, so it had to be one of you three!”

The Bulls:   “You forgot about Slash over there.”


The Bulls:  “He did it.”


The Bulls:  “We saw him. He deliberately stepped into the trough and destroyed it.”

Slash:  “Oh please. You guys are talkin manure. I’m knee deep over here.  Look lady, they were fighting over the last bit of grain in the trough one day and next thing you know they’re pushing and shoving each other around and Rocco fell in the trough and Gunner tried to gouge his eyes out with his hooves and then Titus did a belly flop on top of Rocco….

And there you go. That’s what happened.”

Me:  “Really guys? A little old for that kind of rough horseplay aren’t you? Well…whatever. I’ll add it to your bill along with the gate chain you broke last spring when you were fighting with each other. “

The Bulls:  “We’re not paying.”


Me:  “Oh yeah? Fine then. Come June 1 when it’s time for you guys to be turned out with the cows, you 3 are staying here.”

The Bulls:   “WHAT!??!?!?!?   You can’t do that lady!!!!!  You need US to get the cows pregnant!!!”

Me:  “Slash can take care of them.”

The Bulls:  “No he can’t!!  There are dozens and dozens of cows!!! And Harland said he wanted us to take care of all of them within 30 days this year!!!!!!!”

Me:  “Slash looks pretty capable to me. Sorry guys…..”






The Bulls:  “Will you take a debit card?”